Change is here to stay.....So we better get used to it

 Resilience - It aint the 80's

I grew up in the 80’s when there was minimal parental supervision and health and safety was not really a thing. 

I also grew up on a farm where there were plenty of ways to get in to trouble……daily…..which I did lol. 

I started work at 16 as an apprentice blacksmith and travelled, on a moped, 1 hour to work and back every day and worked 8am-6pm and 8am-2pm on a Saturday. Resilience just happened back then, well for me anyway  : )

Things are very different now, my experience raising kids, 2 boys and a girl. Soft play, bike helmets, smart phones, snapchat, youtube etc etc etc etc…….

Resilience does not automatically develop in the lives of people as it once did and being more intentional about developing resilience has become necessary.

Kids addicted to devices is an ongoing problem and it's not an easy thing for any parent to manage.

I've thought a lot, especially as a parent myself,  about what will this mean for kids development and what will it mean for western civilisation as these kids eventually grow up to be the ones in charge!?

I read an article recently in the Guardian about HIKIKOMORI which is a condition first identified in Japan which estimates around 260,000 young people, mainly male, are suffering from this condition.

In the last two decades, the ‘Hikikomori’ syndrome (HS) has been conceptualised as a psycho-sociological condition characterised by prolonged and severe social withdrawal for a time period of at least 6 months. This reminded me of reading this:

Oxford Dictionaries said Monday that “goblin mode” has been selected by online vote as its word of the year. It defines the term as “a type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations.”

I think we can all, in some way, relate to this picture lol. Obviously Covid and the subsequent period of Lockdown has contributed to this phenomenon but I don't think it's the whole story and it's something that's been developing for a while, lockdown life just expedited the process I think.

Goblinmode, as funny as it seems, shows us that developing resilience in early life is no longer a given. We need to be intentional both with ourselves, our kids and the people around us, especially if we are in positions of leadership or management. We need to understand the dynamic, address issues around lack of resilience in ourselves and help others develop in this crucial area of personal growth.

I first heard the term ‘Man Baby’ a few years ago during a conversation with a woman talking about her struggle to find a partner lol. It made me laugh but it is true to say there are plenty of Man babys out there and developing resilience will for sure help to address any man baby tendencies : ) I’m sure there is a female equivalent to the man baby situation I just haven’t yet heard the term……maybe you can enlighten me here : )

I read a great article recently entitled - How to know if you are dating a 'man-child'

It was hilarious but very telling. One of the tells was:

5. He spends excessive time partaking in the 'toxic trio'. 

The toxic trio, as I call it, are weed, video games, and porn. He's not someone who dabbles in any one of these three activities, he uses them to zone out for many hours at a time. They are also used to avoid intimacy — emotionally and sexually.

I come across this Trio of unhelpful habits so often in 'grown men' and it for sure is not helping. Maybe you recognise this in yourself or someone you know?

Coaching on resilience focuses on helping you develop and strengthen your ability to bounce back from challenges, adversity, and setbacks. Resilience coaching aims to build your capacity to adapt, cope, and thrive in the face of adversity, stress, and change. 

Here are some key areas that resilience coaching can address:

1. Building self-awareness: Resilience coaching starts with helping you develop self-awareness, understanding your strengths, weaknesses, and patterns of thinking and behaviour. 

2. Developing a growth mindset: Cultivating a growth mindset, which involves having a positive and flexible attitude towards challenges and setbacks. 

3. Identifying and leveraging strengths: Coaching focuses on identifying and leveraging your strengths and resources to build resilience, recognise your existing skills, talents, and support networks, and guide you in utilising these assets to navigate difficult situations.

4. Enhancing coping strategies: Developing effective coping strategies to manage stress, adversity, and change.

5. Cultivating optimism and positive thinking: Resilience coaching emphasises the importance of cultivating optimism and positive thinking as a way to build resilience,  challenge negative thought patterns and develop a more positive and resilient mindset.

6. Building social support networks: Developing and strengthening your social support networks, identifying and nurturing relationships that provide emotional support, encouragement, and practical assistance during challenging times.

7. Goal setting and action planning: Resilience coaching involves setting goals and creating action plans to build resilience in specific areas of life. Helping you to identify actionable steps and provide accountability and support in working towards these goals.

8. Practicing self-care: Exploring the importance of self-care in building resilience and developing self-care practices that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, as self-care is crucial for maintaining resilience during challenging times.

Resilience coaching is beneficial for individuals facing various life challenges, such as work-related stress, personal setbacks, relationship difficulties, or major life transitions.

No more nappies, or diapers, time to build resilience and move forward : )